I feel the approach of an impending flood. I see the line growing ever wider on the horizon behind me and the cold sharp smell of wet earth wafts ever stronger in the air. All I can do is keep walking forward, standing and looking will not alter its approach. There are no hills to run to and nothing with which to make a raft.  I must simply wait for the first wave to hit and see where it takes me. If I'm strong enough I will simply stand my ground and watch the water receed back again, leaving me unchanged but changing everything around me. If not I will be washed away.
But change is inevitable,

Current Mood: complacent

Got to share this. Found by Sarah and worth a few minutes time wasting - which is more than can be said for the paper.

http://www.qwghlm.co.uk/toys/dailymail/

Current Mood: amused

The new kitchen is excellant! Beautiful, Practical and unbeleivably larger than the previous cupboard. They started on 27th and finished on 1st as promised.
 I've been to B&Q and bought some corner shelves and cut up some Conti board to make extra shelves in the cupboards so the storage is almost perfect. I bought a new freestanding gas cooker which the council men fitted so now I am nearly set to start cooking again - just in time for jam and chutney season. Still lots of sorting out to do and more stuff to get rid of but now I know where I'm going with it. I will also need to wallpaper round the cupboards when the council have been to re-do the ceiling but thats a small job.
I no longer feel like I'm in a squat.  And best of all it's a headache out of the way before I have my hip done.
I can plan the rest of the flat and the garden now, but not being able to leap about like I used to that will also take time. However, I'm not complaining because however long it takes it's now do-able. 

Current Mood: accomplished

Have a good one:}

A lovely man from the council just came to tell me that they will start my kitchen a week monday!!!!!
With all the rest I've got to think about that is SUCH a weight off my mind.
And it should only take a week.
Now. so long as me leg don't drop off between now and then...

Current Mood: chipper

I've decided to post about this just to cut down the number of people I have to explain it to. I'm still at the randomly bursting into tears stage.
Last friday the Physio half told me about the MRI.

Now you know how hard it is to get to talk to a DR? Mine rang me at 8.30am Tuesday morning, haveing just got back from holiday seen the MRI. I won't repeat all of that conversation but what he told me was this. I have a very rare condition (he's only seen it once before) where the blood supply to the head of the femur has been cut off, causing the bone to die off.
I looked it up on the net and was not encouraged by what I found. (It did say that it was most common in alchoholics and deep sea divers.)
I saw the orthopeadic surgeon today and he said the area affected was approx one quarter of the surface of the head, so no remedial surgery would be effective. I'm going to be on bone cell strengthening medication for eight weeks to see if it makes a difference but irrespective I'm going to have to have a hip replacement. Probably new year or around then. Perhaps sooner.
I want to make a joke but I can't think of one.

Quick update on the hip.
Had an MRI last week. Went to the physio today and she contacted radiology to get the results. Technically she isn't supposed to tell me but she has been as baffled by this as me.
The MRI shows that there is damage to the bone on the top of the leg and to the inside of the socket. She can't understand why this didn't show up on the xray. She also said its very rare and although I don't have to see her again she is going to ring me to find out how exactly they are going to treat it. I see the orthopeadic consultant next thursday and they have booked me another xray just before.
Good to have a definite answer at last.
Bad because now I'm haveing all sorts of worst case scenario ideas. I just hope the treatment doesn't involve needles or operations.

Current Mood: nervous

I realised that most of my recent entries have been rants so I thought I should post something a bit more positive.

Monday morning I set off for Bournmouth to meet up with Rob Nott and head for London. It was less hassle to stay over with him than drive into the metrolopse, and the train all the way was far too expensive. We were heading eventually for the British Library and a talk by Ian Sinclair, Alan Moore and Michael Moorcock. A life long hero of mine, I read my first Moorcock book at the age of sixteen (The Bull and the Spear). We should have been joining up with Maurice and Jerry but both got waylaid at the last minute.

We headed first to Charing Cross road to peruse the book shops. Rob was looking for a good copy of one of the 70's issues of MM to get signed for Maurice. I wanted a copy of Gloriana to be signed for my friend Kevin and a copy of "V for Vendetta" for Alan Moore to sign for my daughters boyfriends birthday (today). It was very hot in London and I was pleased to find that Foyles had a cafe so we could have a cool break. Short lived as the fire alarm went off and we had to finish our drinks quickly and go. It was very difficult to stay focused with SO MANY BOOKS. I managed to only buy the two I'd set myself which must be a first for me. (I'd bought my own copy , much thumbed, of Knight of Swords, to be signed for me). I was very pleased that my hip didn't proove a problem and the walking around didn't result in the pain I've experienced up until recently.

We headed to ST Pancras and walked into the concourse to ask for directions to the BL. This was another item on my wish list as I have wanted to visit the station since reading Douglas Adams "Long Dark Teatime of the Soul". I asked a policeman (as you are told you should) and he directed us outside and to the right. By the way, I really hope they finish the restoration soon as I will be in the queue to book the hotel when its finished.

We got front seats in a very intimate auditorium. Apart from a hitch getting MMs wheelchair onto the stage (the lift wasn't plugged in) it was very well organised. Both Moorcock and Moore were very interesting, amusing, self effacing individuals, willing to make jokes at their own expense. I felt Ian Sinclair was a little too cerebral by comparison. I have to admit I haven't read anything by him. After we were at the front of the queue for signings. Again both men were very personable and Rob had a long conversation with MM , to the point where library staff were prompted to suggest Mr Moorcock not spend quite so long with people. A very enjoyable evening altogether.

We had a sandwich and a drink at Waterloo while waiting for the train. Got back to Robs about 1am. By the time I got up Rob was ready for work and so he had to leave me to get myself together and back on the road.

Set off for Cardiff but due to a satnav error, took a wrong turn off a roundabout, saw a sign for Winchester and decided to visit the Cathederal.
Winchester is a delightful town and the Cathederal is stunning. It looks huge and dominating in a far more solid, square, Norman way than many other Cathederals that I've seen. Once inside I headed straight for their Library ( it's a sort of sickness really) and bathed in the presence of many ancient and delicate books, desperately trying not to touch. Anyone who has not looked closely at an illuminated manuscript can't appreciate the incredible skill of the artist. Only up close can you see the minute detail. Carefully crafted patterned infills of shapes in three or four colours,less than five or six millimeters across each and exactly reproduced a dozen times with no difference in size shape or colour.

In the same place was a sillouette portrait of Jane Austen and a poem in her own hand dedicated to her friend, Mrs Fermoy who died in a horse riding accident four years previously ,on Janes birthday (16th Dec.) That was very moving. It's something I can't properly define, but a conection exists between the work of an artist which is unpublished, and the person viewing. You are looking at something in the artists hand which gives a much clearer image of the artist as a person than any finished great work. I remember first experiencing this when I came across a rough sketch by Cezzanne while walking round the Louvre. Something not meant for public consumption is private and more intimate.
I could go on at length about the many interesting and beautiful things in the Cathederal but I wont. You should visit. I did stop breifly at Jane Austens memorial, which had fresh flowers on it.

After a pot of tea and a prawn sandwich in the really lovely cathederal cafe I headed home. It's days like those that make the mundane ones in between worthwhile.

Current Mood: content

The problem with Live Journal is that we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other. Hence, I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don’t know about you.

How do we feel about people who cut down large mature trees because they "Don't like them." ?

You think you know someone and then they do something which throws your faith in them completely. What do you do?

Current Mood: disappointed